kickin tina...... reflections on recovery...
birds eye view
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
crux
one of my colleagues emailed me a time magazine article on the state of aids in our gay union and the silence surrounding it. i find it telling and compelling, thus i am sharing it with you all in the hopes that it increases dialogue and some thoughts about our approach. the truth is that i meet new positve men with regularity and realize that they feel under supported and frustrated. i also find that longer term poz guys have very little patience for these younger men because they weren't listening to the messages that are out there. (i wonder if we are simply burnt out and don't want to relive any painful memories again)
my feeling is that there are so many messages out there, direct and more subtle, that one can easily shut down to listening to that topic entirely. i also think that without the visible physical evidence of the nasty nature of this virus, guys think it probably isn't that bad. couple that with the natural tendency to think that nothing like that will ever happen "to me". and finally, throw in substance abuse or heavy partying to the mix, and DING DONG CLANG - one is ringing the bell loudly for a crisis.
the film is one of two posted on hivbigdeal.org. check them out. director todd ahlberg of "meth: the movie" did these two films and i think they are pretty well done.
the crux of the situation in my eyes: what's happening is that we are not mentoring the younger generation as well as we could. sure, they could listen more and they could be more respectful, but then again, they won't be young forever. I mean would we have listened?
happy pride!
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2 comments:
It is essential to remember that many do listen, for by any account, the majority of gay men remain negative, even if at times it feels everybody is seroconverting.
Let's face it, it's impossible to ignore when your friends are dropping like flies as they were in the 80s and 90s. It's like activism in the 60s--students took to the streets because their friends were dying and they were afraid they'd be next. Global warming is a far greater threat than Vietnam, but nobody is rioting. This is human nature.
I am all for prevention and support. But I am astonished when men who seroconvert cry "Why me! How could this have happened?" and expect me to open my arms and say, "there, there, dear." I say take responsibility for your choices, just as I would to a teenage girl who has sat through endless sex education classes and still gotten pregnant. Unfortunately, gay men can't get abortions or put their HIV up for adoption, but they can live with it, quite well, thank you, and that's the message they'll hear from me. And not to go back into a second closet. Be vocal about your status to negative men. Have safe sex or no sex at all with them. Do not pass it on because you are afraid of rejection if you tell the truth.
Important thing to consider, I think, that last sentence. "Would we have listened?" I wasn't listening to much when I was young. I knew everything. That sort of thing wouldn't happen to me. Gawd, I was stupid!!
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