birds eye view

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Sunday, November 16, 2008

a broken heart

yesterday, i went with my buddy and carl frazier's sister kathy to place a wreath at the spot where he was found dead. above the wreath, they placed a plea for help from crimestoppers with a small reward offered. kathy was in town from illinois to talk to the police about the unsolved case, and to do some interviews with local tv stations. we then went to breakfast and chatted for almost an hour and a half.

i have no idea what she is really going through. she is sunny, bright, and very warmhearted. she seemes quite open, and she seems like she has learned that finding some closure to this situation is going to take more time.

i found out that she didn't know he was positive. somehow that doesn't surprise me. it is such a whole lot to orchestrate when one is disclosing to family and friends. they have a tendency to give advice and interference which can be difficult to accept, even if its in the name of love.

but i now understand a little better how sad she must be. just being at that spot, and finding out more details about the events, and trading insights and perceptions caused me to grieve a little for carl once more. i think he most definitely got dogged, and i would have rather have it happened to anyone else but carl.

today's sound choice.... michael buble singing "how can you mend a broken heart"



Wayward Son said...

I have come to believe, at at least in theory, that not only do we choose when and where we come into the is world, but also when we leave it. I think quite possibly these are choices the oversoul makes and the whys of it we Earth-bound are not privy to.
It's all cold comfort to the living and a theory I have no real practical application of in my life since I came across it. But there you have it, none-the-less.

One thing I know for sure though is that for me there is an intimacy in grieving that is sweet and loving despite all the accompanying sadness. I try and focus on that for it always leads me to happy memories and the best of thoughts.


Marc said...

"i think he most definitely got dogged"
What does that mean?

Anonymous said...


Sheria said...

I am sorry for your sorrow.

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