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Friday, December 19, 2008

and on the 7th day



Thank You, for this opportunity for a new beginning in my life and a chance to be a part of the solutions in life instead of the problems. Please grant me wisdom, knowledge and strength as I go out from here to do Your work and live the Victorious Life You designed for me.


some days, it is said, are not days to push forward. better perhaps for reflection, resting our heads, and making way for rejuvenation. and on the 7th day he rested has been written. before i close my eyes to engage that refueling process, i send a message back to home base asking for further instruction and guidance. i am now conscious of the very idea that i am not alone, but am part of a team. i am part of a mission and no longer act alone.

relief comes to me today on different levels. i get much needed rest and i get reinforcement. and all with the simple words.. help me

on the 7th day of christmas, my true love gave to me..
a 7th day to rest, reflect, and recharge
a 6 foot carriage to safety
a 5 alarm avalanche
a brand new self portrait, a new way to see "me" in 4 dimensions
a decision in 3 parts- i can't, god can, i think i'll let her
a 2nd chance
an opportunity to learn to listen and be heard

my example today- the following was posted on facebook today. it is someone i know very well who is struggling with a parent with alzheimers and a relationship that is breaking off. i believe the "ones" mentioned include me and immediately took offense. however, when i ask for my defects to be removed in the situation- my ego- i realize this is not about me at all. i now need to meditate on how i can be of service.

I miss my recovery from California. Shit I dream about it about 4 times a week. I miss the diversity of California, so much more than the fuckin' redneck, recovery wanna-bees that I find in Denver.

I swear, once my mum is gone, I'll leave this town in my dust.

Really, I do not know a single Gay man in this town whom I trust. The ones I did trust in early recovery still have some serious mental health issues, and remind me of egomaniacs with no self esteem.

I lived in San Francisco for 20 years total. From 76 to 99, and was clean and sober there for 7 of them. There's a lot of drunks and drug addicts there, and because of it, there is some GREAT recovery there.

None of this cliicky, cow-town sobriety.

I hate to sound so negative tonight, it's just that I am disillusioned with this town.

Here is my truth today.

I must keep my side of the street clean.

I must embrace and encourage others to be their full potential. Talk is CHEAP.

Thank God for the rooms of AA and for the people who continually show me how to do it.

Thank God I do this life my life depends on it.


today's sound choice is a fave from back in tha day- ramsey lewis and earth wind and fire with "sun goddess"

Documents

1 comment:

Sheria said...

Because there is a progression to your movements through the days, I'm trying to read them in the order in which they were written and not peek ahead. Difficult for a person who will open a gift before Christmas and then re-wrap it.

I can't recall where I read it, but your reference to being not alone but part of a team reminded me of a little tale that I read.

Two waves are moving across the ocean, heading for the shore. One wave tells the other that he is afraid because when he crashes against the shore, he will be no more. The other wave states that he is not afraid. The fearful wave asked how can he not fear what is to come and the other wave responds, "I'm not just a wave, I'm part of the ocean."

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