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Friday, July 31, 2009

who's driving the bus?

So now we are faced with an important question, 'Who's driving your bus?'

Is it someone from your past who has dominated you and what you do, even though they may not still be present in your life now? Are they taking you where you want to go? Do you feel like you would like to the bus to stop and let you off? Now here comes the challenge...

From this rear seat of observation, we need to start to move closer to the driver's seat. It doesn't matter how long this takes, and it doesn't matter how much we are challenged by the people who may be trying to block our progress forward. We have to do this for ourselves... starting right now!.. from ezine article

as i thought about this post i had a tongue in cheek when i thought of my fella blogger java. she used to be a bus driver for a living. i loved so many of her stories about the adventures on that bus of hers. i still am agog with her life's adventures and her frank ability to relay them.

but back to this bus. there is a saying in recovery which is "who's driving your bus". this is in direct correlation to a next stage of recovery. once someone gets the chemicals out of their body and their brain, and let go of the obsession to re ingest, there is a new situation that appears on the foreground.

it consists of the mess that had been covered up by too much pills and liquor that now moves into the foreground. many many times, people who get sober will find themselves involved in what would seem insane behavior because they haven't done any work learning how to live life on life's terms. they haven't healed childhood traumas, they haven't forgiven perpetrators and still hold resentment. they haven't tried to grow or just don't know how. this is often referred to in twelve step as a dry drunk.

it's not surprising. so many people seeking recovery have been under the influence for the greater part of their adult lives. to know how to roll with anger, frustration, worry, anxiety, or boredom is completely new to them they have no experience at coping either with the big stuff or the little. and i cannot forget fear. fear is at the root of so many issues, and i still find that i am afraid of things that are no longer even relevant in my life.

so many people put down the pipe, the straw, the needle, or the bottle. but if they want peace, they will need to strive for personal growth beyond just getting sober or clean. they will have to stretch their hearts and minds beyond their comfort zone.

at least this is my experience. i have now encountered this question at several junctions in my recent life.... "who's driving your bus?" and i have to wonder who is driving. i think it's not the guy i want it to be.

it is affirming to have direction. i need it in my life.

today's sound choice is diva diana ross with a live version of "do ya know where you're going to?"


1 comment:

Java said...

This is an interesting concept, one I haven't considered before, ironically. So much of what I do is dictated by the needs of others, and it doesn't always need to go the way it does. I abdicate control sometimes when that's easier than taking the wheel.

One of my favorite analogies is one I learned from my step-mother, who is active in a 12 step program. She told me once not to rent out space in my head. I was fretting over something my in-laws had said or done, and she helped me see that I didn't have to let it rule my thoughts the way it was.

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