12 Stupid Things

no.3) pursuing recovery with less energy than pursuing addiction.

this seems a no-brainer, but it is really one of the things that brings many a seeker to their knees. somehow, we expect that since we have chosen to live in the light again, that all our efforts will be invincible. but addiction is more than just non-alchoholic wishes and caviar dreams.  it is a frothy and stiff melange of chemical imbalance, ingrained habit, and emotions run amok. the journey takes willpower, and dedication, and clarity of purpose in order to get through the tumult that is the road to recovery. if we want it, we gotta fight for it. and in the beginning years, we have fight and fight hard every day.

i loves me some vsq... hear (ha!) they are with a version of "call me when you're sober"

12 Stupid Things

I have decided to share the "12 Stupid Things That Mess Up Recovery" by Dr. Allen Berger which are listed in his book of that title. I believe they are mostly true and that one can never have enough insight.

2nd Stupid Thing:

Believing Sobriety Will Fix Everything.
Recovery begins with breaking the bonds of addiction. But this is only the 1st step of a long journey. Recovery is ultimately about recovering our true, or spiritual, self.

For many, remaining clean and sober developing what page 85 refers to as a fit spiritual condition. The concept of spirituality is relevant and for good reason. Discovering and connecting to a spiritual force provides us with the strength and ability to remain clean and sober. This is attained through the development of humility.

The 12 step programs are designed to connect us with a power greater than ourselves. The 12 steps, followed in order and with a guide are systematically set up to lead us to humility and a right-sized place in the world. While the 12 steps provide us with an incredible formula for change, we have to do the work. We have to dig deep and confront ourselves as we have never done before.We will feel worse before we feel better and we need to give up on trying to find a softer, easier way.

12 Stupid Things

I have just gotten a small book titled: "12 Stupid Things That Mess Up Recovery" by Allen Berger, Ph.D.

I thought this might be good to review with people I work with. And I though it might be interesting to review the 12 things (not necessarily the 12 steps) and see how it goes. I will go through them one by one and try to see if his insights match one's own experience.

1) Believing Addiction to 1 Substance is the Problem: Our best chance of recovery lies in abstinence from mind-altering substances.

In this short chapter Dr. Berger takes us through cross-addiction and substitution of one high for another. This is one of the more common judgement error with people I have worked with. A belief that the addiction is for only one substance and that other highs won't be as troublesome. Typically, the opposite comes to be true.

Also he describes the concept of self-medicaton and pain. He offers that most of us use extensively to make ourselves feel better or to avoid any sort of pain at all. His take (much like Buddhism) offers that pain is a friend when listened to and responded to with love.

And the idea ofself-erasure and self-hate is brought into view. According to Dr. Berger- Self-hate is deeply rooted in and continuously influenced by our behavior, even though we may not be aware of it. I am convinced that self-hate is one of the primary causes of relapse. A person simply does not feel worthy of recovery, worthy of getting better, worthy of receiving help, worthy of joy, happiness, success, freedom, and love. This leads to many direct and indirect expressions of self-hate. Undermining our recovery is one of the ways that self-hate can manifest itself in our life.

you can learn more about this book here