holiday treat

today i ran across one of those treats one finds on an easter hunt, although this one was inadvertent. i have struggled in sobriety with the realization that i am not as adept at handling life as i might like. i am often childish, over-emotional, reactionary, and often angry. this is especially disturbing to me as i would like to think that i am choosing to live a spiritual life and with that comes serenity, maturity, and peace. however, the volatility of my day to day life reveals that i am quite a distance from my desired location and i have much road left to travel. but knowing that i have found this delicious treat today helps me believe again in the magic of the universe and the possibilities in life. in typical buddhist fashion, the solution to a dilemna is a question, because the answer most likely does lie inside us. happy easter

the following is a repost from maitri matters

Anger vs. Patience

Think of anger. Anger is the mind that wishes to harm and hurt. Patience is the mind that holds back from harming or hurting. Anger is most difficult to deal with; patience is most difficult to develop. Patience is the only thing that defeats anger.

Don’t be disappointed if you can’t do it right away. Even after years of practice you may find that you’re still losing your temper. It’s all right. But you will also notice that the power of anger has weakened, that it doesn’t last as long, and does not as easily turn into hatred.

If patience comes easily to you, wonderful. If not, how do you go from anger to patience?

- Gelek Rimpoche, from "The Real Enemy" (Winter 2001)

stronger

HOW TO WORK WITH ADDICTIONS
The teachings tell us that there is suffering.

There is dissatisfaction and frustration. Often nothing seems to go right. There really is a wound. But it is not necessary to scratch it. Working with addictions is about not just impulsively grabbing for something to stop the itching, not just grabbing for something to fill up the space, not giving in to this impulse to feel okay and just to get comfortable as soon as possible.

When we scratch the wound and give into our addictions we do not allow the wound to heal. But when we instead experience the raw quality of the itch or pain of the wound and do not scratch it, we actually allow the wound to heal. So not giving in to our addictions is about healing at a very basic level.

It is about truly nourishing ourselves.

it is my experience that this business of being with the discomfort and being in the pain is not easy. it is a challenge and must require practice. i am trying to weather a storm currently and i am sometimes forgetting who i am and what i believe. it is honestly an amazing thing to witness, let alone be in the middle of.

and, of course, this is where faith comes in. faith that i will come through this. faith that there is an end to this storm. there is some calm to follow. that something far greater will emerge. this is a bit of the practice of maitri.

if i can only be still and not fill the space that's created here with myself as i usually do, i'll be stronger.