castles in the sky

Elie Wiesel:
I have learned two lessons in my life: first, there are no sufficient literary, psychological, or historical answers to human tragedy, only moral ones. Second, just as despair can come to one another only from other human beings, hope, too, can be given to one only by other human beings.

last week on peter staley's blog, i first heard of the "berlin patient" who had been on hiv drug therapy and underwent bone marrow transplant surgery and now has no signs of active hiv in his bloodwork.


my friend then sent a link to an article about the very same item.

and i found an article on donklephant. here is an excerpt.

The startling case of an AIDS patient who underwent a bone marrow transplant to treat leukemia is stirring new hope that gene-therapy strategies on the far edges of AIDS research might someday cure the disease.

The patient, a 42-year-old American living in Berlin, is still recovering from his leukemia therapy, but he appears to have won his battle with AIDS. Doctors have not been able to detect the virus in his blood for more than 600 days, despite his having ceased all conventional AIDS medication. Normally when a patient stops taking AIDS drugs, the virus stampedes through the body within weeks, or days.

The breakthrough appears to be that Dr. [Gero] Hütter, a soft-spoken hematologist who isn’t an AIDS specialist, deliberately replaced the patient’s bone marrow cells with those from a donor who has a naturally occurring genetic mutation that renders his cells immune to almost all strains of HIV, the virus that causes AIDS.

considering the goings on in the world this last couple of weeks, especially in america, i think i'm gonna try audacity and go with hope.....

private dancer

last year, the gmhc of new york produced this public service announcement. it is very eye-opening which it is meant to be; click here and download appropriately



These two articles received from the CCMTF listserve regarding a very little discussed population with regard to meth use: the african american gay men's culture. some of my questions around all this: will gay men at large pay as much notice? will they care? does the rainbow flag have any meaning or does it tend to just be a colorful hollow symbol of who we are and where our priorities are? will books be written, will there be a talk show circuit? will the press coverage be as voluminous? is this a separate population from the gay population? in what ways? will they struggle in silence and without general support. do we claim them when it's convenient and satisfies our needs, but forget about them when the party's over?

The following is from a North Carolina study:

Crystal methamphetamine is a highly addictive stimulant that initially gained popularity in the western region of the United States and has spread to all regions of the country. This study was designed to identify factors associated with methamphetamine use among men who have sex with men (MSM) in North Carolina. Participants were recruited in five gay bars and in five geographically defined Internet chat rooms concurrently in 2005 to complete a brief assessment of drug use and other risk behaviors. Of the 1189 MSM who completed the assessment, mean age was 29 years. Two thirds self-identified as black/African American or other minorities, and 25% as bisexual. Nearly 6% reported using methamphetamines during the past 30 days. In multi variable analysis, MSMwho reported using methamphetamines were more likely to report higher education; health insurance coverage; inconsistent condom use during anal sex within the past 3 months; a history of sexually transmitted disease (STD) infection; positive HIV serostatus; and use of medications designed to treat erectile dysfunction. A lack of data exists on methamphetamine use among MSM in the southeastern United States,particularly in non urban regions. Because the southeastern United States carries a disproportionate HIV, AIDS, and STD burden, our findings underscore the need for further research and intervention.

and this from New York City:

A comparative analysis of methamphetamine use: Black gay and bisexual men in relation to men of other races. Halkitis PN, Jerome RC.Addict Behav. 2007 Aug 8; [Epub ahead of print] We investigated the patterns and correlates of methamphetamine use among Black gay and bisexual men who participated in a large-scale study of club drug use, and sexual behavior in combination with club drug usein New York City. Almost half of the Black men (49%) in the sample indicated use of methamphetamine in the 4 months prior to assessment, aproportion somewhat lower than their White counterparts. In terms of the overall sample, the proportion of the Black men in the study was equivalent to the proportion of methamphetamine users who identified as Black. Black methamphetamine users tended not to reside in neighborhoods considered traditionally gay, were more likely to be HIV-positive, have lower educational attainment, and have lower levels of income than other methamphetamine users. In terms of frequency and reasons for use, Black methamphetamine users did not differ in any substantive way compared toother races and ethnicities. In addition, they did not differ along any key demographic lines from Black non-methamphetamine users. Poly-druguse was common among all Black men in the sample, with almost all methamphetamine users also reporting use of cocaine, but cocaine user snot necessarily reporting methamphetamine use. Once a drug that was considered popular only among White gay men, methamphetamine use has been shown to transcend racial and ethnic lines. Because of the synergy that exists between use of the drug, the concentrated levels of HIV Ianthe Black gay population, and the sexual disinhibition engendered with methamphetamine use, this drug presents a potentially mounting public health challenge. Characteristics of a sample of men who have sex with men, recruited from gay bars and internet chat rooms, who report methamphetamine use.

This is the sentiment of an addict to me. A private dancer. A dancer for money (or tina!). It ain't all it's cracked(lol) to be.

London, Paris, Rome - long since I've been home
Chose the yellow-brick road, blinded by the light
Acted like a star, unpolluted laughter
Took myself too far, never a morning after

And I danced my life away
Now there's so much left to say
There's no easy way down, my dear
Listen, my dear

Cruising in my car, pain and caviar
Diamonds for breakfast, then some love for lunch
They were traitors then, I was the blossoming flower
Fell in love with them, this was my finest hour

And I danced my life away
And I got so much left to say
There's no easy way down, my dear
Listen, my dear

No more rambling rose, feel like bailin' out
My mascara's leaking, looking like a freak
There's no one to blame how I've spent my days through
And if you want the same, I can always show you

How I danced my life away
When there was so much left to say
There's no easy way down, my dear
Listen, my dear

Gogo Dancer Gay
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