a little dusty at home

photo... platform two

the holidays are officially over and i am feeling pooped. i haven't had a weekend free since before thanksgiving and i have been feeling the lack of downtime since last week. i am planning on nothing this weekend.

of course, that's not really true. i have a lotta housecleaning to do. i have let things go since feeling overwhelmed with activities. so that's what i'll try to do this weekend. spend time with dusty and just nest.

Pictures hanging in a hallway
And a fragment of this song
Half remembered names and faces
But to whom do they belong
When you knew that it was over
Were you suddenly aware
That the autumn leaves were turning
To the color of her hair

Like a circle in a spiral
Like a wheel within a wheel
Never ending or beginning,
On an ever spinning wheel
As the images unwind
Like the circle that you find
In the windmills of your mind


today's sound choice is vintage dusty springfield... here is "the windmills of your mind"





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stride

Humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less

as the weekend rears its lovely head, i find myself with much to do over the next coupla days. i picked up a party at the gates mansion in bear creek saturday and sunday we are installing new installation in the attics of 4 units of our rowhouses. weeding needs to be caught up, and the lawn is to be mowed. then the weekend will be ending.

it is boggling how easily i see the end and not what is yet to happen. like i am going to tune out somehow and not be part of those experiences, or that those are not equivalent with me having time off. whatever, i need to step back, take a breath, and remember what a difference this is from the crappy way i used to spend my weekends. waking up very late in the am or early afternoon being so groggy that it would take over an hour just to get going. having the nasty taste of nicotine on my tongue and the smell on my clothes. having spent most of my cash and having no savings and only maxed credit cards. maybe i would have had a guest but not really remembering much about them because i wasn't clear enough to really ask. feeling hollow and dreading going to a vacant job on monday..

i truly hope this dichotomy is seared into my brain. i trust that it is. as i sit here thinking about what's ahead these next two days, there is no way that i can compare them to the ones i described. what i might need to infuse is an affinity for enjoying what's here in lieu of looking so much down the path. for now, this is some personal work ahead.

and oh what a pleasant stride i have found.

we cry

The soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears. ~John Vance Cheney

it has been quite a fantastic weekend. i have teared up from sadness and teared up with laughter and i have done both of these on both of the weekend days. i love having free time and i have enjoyed being with people i love. i got quite a bit of work on the newsletter knocked out and on the website content as well. my friend has finished almost all of the elements of our 501c3, so we have made movement forward.

i have been asked to speak at an event at the capitol next month. it is called "recovery at the capitol" and is sponsored by surrounded by recovery.. i have been trying to channel some thoughts for this and i believe i have been blessed with an idea. i will probably play around with a thought or two here before it happens.



today's sound choice is the script with "we cry"