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Thursday, January 31, 2008

fly me to the moon


image credit: cole rise

so many times in my life have i found myself wishing that something or someone would whisk me away from the doldrums of my daily life to something else or somewhere else. i have no real idea where that would be really. just that it wouldn't be where i was.

this is a telling character defect for a couple of reasons. first it hands off the responsibility for my life to someone or something else. as if i cannot change my life or my circumstances on my own, or cannot take responsibility for where i am.

secondly, it speaks to how much i am not really grounded or in the here and now. i understand on some level the importance of now, but i don't find myself living in that reality very often. i am, many times, future tripping, and daydreaming, and fantsizing about how my life could or would or should be.

i think that i still hold an unrealistic view of love and of being loved. i am sure it stems from these character defects of mine. i still believe that being in love (not giving or sharing love) will solve many of my problems and reshape my future. i know it's naive, and yet here i am, hoping i will fly to the moon.

i ran into someone last weekend and i experienced these feelings. i then found out he's partnered and he's happy. i was stunned a bit, but really i am happy he has someone to share giving and receiving affection and care with.

still, in many ways, i'd honestly rather be flying.

Fly me to the moon
And let me play among the stars
Let me see what spring is like
On Jupiter and Mars
In other words hold my hand
In other words darling kiss me
Fill my life with song
And let me sing forevermore
You are all I hope for
All I worship and adore
In other words please be true
In other words I love you


lyrics: bart howard


3 comments:

Marc said...

Well how am I supposed to come up with anything to say when you've covered all the bases with your clear-eyed appraisal of what ails you?
Here's something. Perhaps you need to redefine flying to the moon as living in the present. Remember, it's a disease of perception. It tells us love feels and looks a certain way, and only when it does, THEN we can be happy.
Nonsense. Every day is an opportunity for conscious contact, and the joy that comes with it. That's most accessible when we live in the right now.
Perhaps you're just suffering from a little post-party depression.

JUST ANOTHER ADDICT said...

Love what Marc said about perception and redefining flying to the moon as living in the present. He's a wise whisperer.
I haven't been to your blog in awhile, but it looks great!
Love to you!

JUST ANOTHER ADDICT said...

I forgot to say that, while looking at photography on the internet one day, I also ran into Cole Rise's work. I was totally captivated by it. It speaks to something in me -- I'm not sure what specifically it is, but it is definitely some deep feeling or longing.
Just thought I would share that with you.
BTW, I went private for a little bit. If you would like to read it, ssend me an email to scoutegrl@aol.com and I'll pass one on.

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