image credit: cole rise
so many times in my life have i found myself wishing that something or someone would whisk me away from the doldrums of my daily life to something else or somewhere else. i have no real idea where that would be really. just that it wouldn't be where i was.
this is a telling character defect for a couple of reasons. first it hands off the responsibility for my life to someone or something else. as if i cannot change my life or my circumstances on my own, or cannot take responsibility for where i am.
secondly, it speaks to how much i am not really grounded or in the here and now. i understand on some level the importance of now, but i don't find myself living in that reality very often. i am, many times, future tripping, and daydreaming, and fantsizing about how my life could or would or should be.
i think that i still hold an unrealistic view of love and of being loved. i am sure it stems from these character defects of mine. i still believe that being in love (not giving or sharing love) will solve many of my problems and reshape my future. i know it's naive, and yet here i am, hoping i will fly to the moon.
i ran into someone last weekend and i experienced these feelings. i then found out he's partnered and he's happy. i was stunned a bit, but really i am happy he has someone to share giving and receiving affection and care with.
still, in many ways, i'd honestly rather be flying.
Fly me to the moon
And let me play among the stars
Let me see what spring is like
On Jupiter and Mars
In other words hold my hand
In other words darling kiss me
Fill my life with song
And let me sing forevermore
You are all I hope for
All I worship and adore
In other words please be true
In other words I love you
lyrics: bart howard