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Wednesday, April 22, 2009

blindfold


i was thinking about the common practice i have of putting a blindfold on with regard to certain aspects of situations that enables me not to look at them or deal with them. i have gained quite a bit of lbs this last 9 months or so, i have meant to do something about it, and yet i do nothing. every day as i try to squeeze myself into my spongebob pants, i am mortified for a brief space in time, but then i let it go.

and beneath all this, there is no doubt in my mimd that this shapeshifting is connected to internal upheaval that i am covering up. turning a blind eye. putting on a blindfold. i have become used to living in the dark. so much easier to sweep whatever mess under the rug.

today, i am hoping to put a dent in this shield i have developed. even better would be a crack.

breaking free would be a gift from the gods.



today's sound choice is morcheeba with "blindfold"



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2 comments:

Texaco said...

there is a funny line, isn't there, between the insanity, and a healthy ability to detach. i often joke that happiness is a poor memory and a sophisticated denial mechanism.

good luck with the weight. we're in the same (fat) boat. i'm taking up walking. i'd love to learn what works for you.

Sheria said...

Over the years I have discovered that food is my drug of choice. Just a suggestion, approach weight loss in the same way that you approached dealing with your other addictions. Personally, I think that you are adorable at all times.

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