i was thinking about the common practice i have of putting a blindfold on with regard to certain aspects of situations that enables me not to look at them or deal with them. i have gained quite a bit of lbs this last 9 months or so, i have meant to do something about it, and yet i do nothing. every day as i try to squeeze myself into my spongebob pants, i am mortified for a brief space in time, but then i let it go.
and beneath all this, there is no doubt in my mimd that this shapeshifting is connected to internal upheaval that i am covering up. turning a blind eye. putting on a blindfold. i have become used to living in the dark. so much easier to sweep whatever mess under the rug.
today, i am hoping to put a dent in this shield i have developed. even better would be a crack.
breaking free would be a gift from the gods.
today's sound choice is morcheeba with "blindfold"
2 comments:
there is a funny line, isn't there, between the insanity, and a healthy ability to detach. i often joke that happiness is a poor memory and a sophisticated denial mechanism.
good luck with the weight. we're in the same (fat) boat. i'm taking up walking. i'd love to learn what works for you.
Over the years I have discovered that food is my drug of choice. Just a suggestion, approach weight loss in the same way that you approached dealing with your other addictions. Personally, I think that you are adorable at all times.
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