Wednesday, June 10, 2009
practice practice practice
i spent about 1/2 today with a young man who was so very high he was unable to sit still. he came in to see me because he says he needs to change. truth be told, i imagine he has no idea how to start to even try to change. he was like a moth in a jelly jar sitting in my office. and it was exhausting to even be near.
he repeatedly told me that he knew he needed to change. he told me that he had never felt more clear headed. he parlayed about the projects he had started but not finished. he showed me the tracks on his arm that he had been recently injecting. he expressed a resolve to stop dealing, as he had just ingested all his sell able product. he seemed very worried that he had no money to pay bills or rent. he hadn't eaten in about a week, correlating with the time that his partner went away for 4 years or so.
i couldn't communicate with him directly. he was too fidgety and lost in his own thoughts. but my thoughts were: he is going to crash eventually and i would like him to feel comfortable here- (and) he may need a friend and an ear...
later i met with another man who had missed 2 group sessions and appeared with a scattered and a rather grumbly demeanor. with an opportunity to talk, he revealed that he had endured a personal tragedy and was not able to show. he was gently reminded that the concept of group is to have a person feel safe in feeling any feeling they actually feel and share about it. of course, he is not comfortable at all having his feelings because being somewhat sober is a new adventure for him. it is fully in character that he would stay away from being seen in a vulnerable state.
it is a dance that these fellows are doing. it is movement. it is freeflowing. it is powerful. and if they really work at it, they will become proficient at what they are learning to do. it's not always easy, but for my money, it's worth the effort.
all it takes is practice.... practice...... practice.....
today's sound choice is "electricity" from billy elliot danced by leon cooke.