happy new ear

i read this blog title on a greeting card once

We've all heard this sad story. Vincent van Gogh lived a short, deeply tormented life, throughout which he sought (in vain) his place in the world. He died, by his own hand, feeling his life was a miserable failure. Unbeknownst to Vincent, the work he did pioneered the Expressionistic style and, 150 years after his birth, his name would be world famous.... more here

there is something compelling for me about vincent van gogh. his infamous brush strokes are captivating because they read as so driven and deliberate. his colors were muted, but still powerful and strong and his subject matter was usually of a very simple nature.

but his inner-haunting must be imprinted on his canvasses as well. i think that many times when we drink in a  vangogh we respond to the emotion behind his work as much as the images themselves. and i think that his perpetual self torture that has now become infamous, creates as much a stir as his determination to express himself.

if you have read my blog at all over the last 3 years, you can certainly understand how easily i can relate to his most defnite chemical imbalance, and how i could naturally admire his tenacity at working with what he had. i have only to hear his story and a door in my heart opens and lets light in.

even if the story of van gogh slicing his own ear is not true, i have no doubt whatsoever that his turmoil was. there is no other line of thinking for me than it is noble to battle through frustration, hardship, discomfort, and pain by processing it through one's talents somehow. if this is pursued throughout a lifetime, one will have less regrets. i intend to see the next decade in such a manner. could it be a promise, or a pledge, or a threat? that's for you to decide

I remember when, I remember

I remember when I lost my mind

There was something so pleasant about that place

Even your emotions have an echo in so much space

And when you're out there without care

Yeah, I was out of touch

But it wasn't because I didn't know enough

I just knew too much

today's sound choice is a bit fanciful.i heard that rolling stone magazine nominated this for best crossover record of the decade. i know that when it was getting airplay, it got it across the board. anyway, here is gnarls barkley with "crazy"



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jackman is a showman

image credit: justjared

i watched the oscars last night and was once again enamored with hugh jackman. smart, funny, eloquent, with a natural ability to sing and dance. the underwhelming number with beyonce, and the cast of many aside, his appearance was warm and professional and enjoyable. additionally, i found this year's academy award show contained many elements that brought a smile or a tear to me and reinforced my allegiance to the whole televised enchilada.

i absolutely loved the "club" feel that the producers gave the show. it seemed to have a huge impact on (at least) the viewer's perception of having an insider's view. the shiny floor doubled the impact of the movie clips being shown. the pairing of presenters added to the "theme" of making a film was not seamless, but worked and added framework. and the addition of bringing out 5 previous winners to highlight the 5 new nominees in the highly coveted actor/actress categories is brilliant. for me, it completely shifts the dynamic from a competition to a recognition and was my favorite shift in the rituals.

with regard to individual moments, there were a couple that really stood out for me.
the posthumous award for heath ledger was handled with sensitivity and genuine human dignity and panned shots of the audience listening framed the process nicely. ben stiller's impression of joaquin phoenix made me feel slightly uncomfortable and laugh to relieve that feeling. jerry lewis's acceptance speech brought a tear to my eye, and reminded me that life is a journey and is finite. i was reminded once again, as with the golden globes, that sometimes a film can embody a spirit and carry that spirit out into it's viewers world with amazing grace- slumdog millionaire has done just that. it's charm goes well beyond the "craft" of that film. finally dustin lance black's personalizing the "hate the gays" issue, and sean penn so visibly having moved from apathy to activist on the prop 8 and equal rights for lgbt issues were undeniably moving for me. sean demonstrates that he is becoming comfortable with peer appreciation and seems willing to accept the responsibilities of just that.

and it all started with hugh jackman, consummate showman, donning a tuxedo and white tie, and singing and dancing in a style that opened our hearts.

today's sound choice is another 80's classic lovingly offered. taco performing "puttin on the ritz"

beauty and grace

photo credit alex ibsen

"Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom."
~ Marcel Proust ~

the above work is a brainchild of one of the sweetest inspirations that has crossed my path since i have gotten clean in denver.(who resides in denver) i met him when i served on the board of rocky mountain roundup last year and worked with him on the fundraising committee. we threw parties together for a year and i found that he inspired me to be better somehow.

he is definitely an artist. he is talented, he is intense, and he brings some magic and some validation to my life. he struggles, he takes chances, he stays grounded, and he pursues his muse. of course he has a partner, who is equally gracious and engaging. i love them both.

anyway- i just got a print of the work pictured above. we went to lunch and just caught up as i hadn't seen him in a month or so. i am in a period of shifting, my priorities, my career, and my safety nets. his friendship is an oasis.

i am so very grateful for friendships and especially for alex. i am better for the fortitude and the grace he demonstrates. i am humbled by his naivete and floored by his wisdom. sometimes i don't think i deserve good friends.... but those thoughts are beginning to fade more quickly in recovery. that would be another great thing i give thanks for.