take a couple of good friends, a sunny day, add some good intention and a tender meeting, stir lightly, blend a trip to museum row, pull out some old memories and shake them out over the mixture. let sit quietly during a speaker meeting and pop into the crib for some extra z's...
i had an incredible day yesterday. breakfast then a birthday meeting. jim said goodbye as marc and i then headed to lacma to see some of the exhibits. warhol, koontz, rauscha, lichtenstein, basquiat are a few of the artists that were represented. the family amends was made and it went much better than i anticipated. it was challenging to stay in humility, but i honestly did my best. the speaker at last night's opening ceremony was so sweet and silently penetrating for me. i am reminded that my understanding of being clean is solid, but can go much deeper. i have work to do and my heart can open much more. this is something great to look forward to.
i made it to my family's home and managed to get out my amends. i certainly stumbled with words, however, i believe my intention shone through. it was humbling, and i realized i really am just a drop in his emotional bucket, and it right-sized me quite a bit. his wife came home and i graciously asked to make amends with her, too. it went well. again i heard things i didn't expect. but i was prepared with earnestness, so i believe it was hugely successful.
driving back to weho, i realized that i have been holding quite a bit of fear for 4 or 5 years about this, and now i will have extra room in my heart and my head as i let go of this fear. i hope i can find a way to fill this space with agape.
