mondays

mondays...i think i'm feeling melancholy and a little retrospective on this particular one. i'm kinda in the middle, not sure which way to go. and i'm really working at not filling this space or unknowing with my usual self. i am trying to pause and to trust that the universe will provide. god this sounds so effortless and yet it is an amazing test of my will. i want so much to just know what to do next, now. and not wait and trust.

Pema Chodron: —what is this situation trying to teach me? All the religions point to the fact that if you're fully present, it's the only place that you can wake up. You don't wake up, you know, by zoning out or somehow leaving. You wake up in the present moment. And so you have to find your own simple grounded language about how to say that to yourself. And that's a beautiful way to say it. What is this moment—or what is this situation or this person got to teach me, you know? Another thing I love, which I've learned from someone over the years, was, you know, this is a unique moment. This encounter, as unpleasant as I'm finding it, is unique. It's never going to happen again in exactly this way. And maybe I'm glad of that but I don't want to waste this moment because it's never going to happen again, just like this. You know, this is—this is the only time I'm ever going to experience this. So let's taste it, smell it.

have a beautiful monday. and give a beautiful monday as well. (fantastic dress eh?)

gay warrior

image credit: neithica

is there a gay men's movement? what is it? what does it look like? am i invited? do i wanna go?

when i google gay warrior this is what i find: click here


part of me wonders where my path will lead. i guess i should be
happy with where i am and i wish i could be just that. however, there is something inside me that wonders what's next? and i feel it's necessary and right to honor those questions. there is much talk in my circles at work around the gay men's leadership academy. it's a derivative of eric rofes' many years of work around creating a healthier community for gay men.

i am not sure if i can attend, but i would very much like to attend the next 4 day leadership training in guernevile CA in march. i would be happy to entertain attending with the companionship of any of my online community. i count on and respect all of you. and i really believe that gay men in recovery have an amazing opportunity to make recovery and abstinence and not-partying much less fearful. it's not preaching that our contemporaries need. but i think that having gay men in recovery visible in our collective communities will open a wonderful door.

below is an excerpt from the gay wisdom website. please peruse it on your own. and my understanding is that scholarships are fairly simple to obtain if financial concerns are the barrier.

This growing movement requires a new generation of leaders of all ages who are willing to go back to their home communities and lead the fight for innovative strategies, organizing, and programs. With the skills you develop at the LEADERSHIP ACADEMY you can become part of a national movement to:

create programs that build upon the strong strengths and assets of gay men
toss out shame and fear and panic as central strategies for health promotion
celebrate the strategies that work!