image credit: romberg
there is a recurring theme for me in my recovery process. and perhaps it is a recurring theme in everyone's lives. i'm just not sure of that. that theme is faith. can i have faith that i will be okay? can i trust the universe to support me in my path? can i allow myself to go where life takes me, or do i need to control the road i am taking? these are constant questions for me and create a constant struggle.
i find that often i am in fear because of what could be, or what might not happen, or more intensely, failure. what if i fail? what if my plans don't work out? what if people don't want or need what i'm offering? thoughts such as these are circuitous, and cause me to stifle and freeze. i am aware that i don't desire these thoughts because even though they are somewhat grounding, they are also paralyzing. i get stuck on these thoughts and fear grows.
the processes of prayer and letting help, however, the questions often return. today i ask for the strength to find faith. to remember its support and believe in its process. while i let go of the belief that outcomes matter.
2 comments:
Overheard this very morning: "Fear and faith cannot reside in the same house."
Also: "Take all your 'problems.' Take all the ones you can't solve-- and put them aside. Volia, you'll see you have very few problems left."
You said "what if people don't want or need what i'm offering?" Well, if it helps any, I want and need what you are offering. There are a lot of big differences in our lives, and you've had the bigger share of burdens. However, though I might not be able to truly understand what all has brought you to this healing path, I gain wonderful perspective and winnowing clarity to my burdens when I visit your blog. Thank you for bringing your voice here.
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