take a couple of good friends, a sunny day, add some good intention and a tender meeting, stir lightly, blend a trip to museum row, pull out some old memories and shake them out over the mixture. let sit quietly during a speaker meeting and pop into the crib for some extra z's...
i had an incredible day yesterday. breakfast then a birthday meeting. jim said goodbye as marc and i then headed to lacma to see some of the exhibits. warhol, koontz, rauscha, lichtenstein, basquiat are a few of the artists that were represented. the family amends was made and it went much better than i anticipated. it was challenging to stay in humility, but i honestly did my best. the speaker at last night's opening ceremony was so sweet and silently penetrating for me. i am reminded that my understanding of being clean is solid, but can go much deeper. i have work to do and my heart can open much more. this is something great to look forward to.
i made it to my family's home and managed to get out my amends. i certainly stumbled with words, however, i believe my intention shone through. it was humbling, and i realized i really am just a drop in his emotional bucket, and it right-sized me quite a bit. his wife came home and i graciously asked to make amends with her, too. it went well. again i heard things i didn't expect. but i was prepared with earnestness, so i believe it was hugely successful.
driving back to weho, i realized that i have been holding quite a bit of fear for 4 or 5 years about this, and now i will have extra room in my heart and my head as i let go of this fear. i hope i can find a way to fill this space with agape.
3 comments:
It's inspirational to read about your amend-making. Consider how rarely any of us -- recovering or not -- actually brave the bearing of our souls to do what you have done. That says it all. Hope the rest of the trip is as holistically fulfilling.
Don't mind the volatile, the anger, the sarcasm, and the fight at my blogs if you happen to go by. It's the other side - another side of me. Guess it's a fight. Maybe one for life, maybe to make the wrongs right. Maybe it's the sides of those who shout at ex lovers, Tina, and their lovers, Tina.
I hadn't been by Babs in a long long time. I'm glad I went to see her - I wound up here. Wow. It's been a long long time since I could talk about Tina or thanked someone for what they're doing. Thank you for what you're doing.
Scared to comment, but a little more scared not to.
This is a lovely, hopeful post.
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