Animation Virus

i googled gay crystal meth recovery while online last night and i came across this site.


please take the time to read for a moment: twacked



it's kinda eerie for me. it's almost like an episode of the twilight zone (which i loved btw.) we could be witnessing the last place on earth this being was before they were lifted off into the 4400 of meth use. i suppose it's wrong of me to assume that it's a relapse, but that's the first place my mind went. even considering the posts about his condition and the color of his urine. i hope i'm wrong for his sake and i pray he's okay. i certainly would be happy to be incorrect. i especially relate to his inability to make the keyboard work. that was so very very much a part of my tweaking dilemma. i couldn't remember how to operate the simple aspects of a computer. i used to spend so much of my time trying to figure out how to close a screen window because i always wanted to open it again to make sure i could close it again.

one time i called sbc who was my isp at the time and told the help desk(at about 2am) that i was hearing voices from my modem. he said things like: "you don't say" and "hmmm, can't imagine what that is." i had a whole screenplay written in my head ( i was always writing screenplays in my head) about a new virus which was taking over the world (a la "what's so bad about feeling good?"). It was actually a computer generated virus that would infect through the skin and people would become cartoons and inanimate objects would suddenly become animated. of course it was to be called Animation Virus. catchy eh?

meth use causes lack of sleep. and lack of sleep causes hallucinations, both visual and auditory, and even psychoses. it is very common in tweakers to go days without sleeping and start hearing and seeing things that they believe are completely real. and there is no way you can convince them of anything else. and even in early recovery some residual hallucinations and emotional discharges are likely. it's not easy to come down off meth. it takes some patience and it takes some overseeing.

omg- watching this shit really gives me chills. it depicts precisely how i used to spend many, many, many of my days. my chat box was always on with someone on an m4m site, though.

family of choice

so i came across this clip while i was doing some tooling around ifilm. this is how i come across some of the best things i think. the most striking thing about this one is the desire to be alternative, and yet the relief that comes from not being alone. it's a paradox and a pretty common one. i know that i would prefer being a gay man, but not a clone. and i sometimes cringe when i'm the only gay in the village, and yet i sometimes shudder when there are so many queens around i can't get notices.

anyway, i love goth. it's so boutique. and i love the idea of death guild and this thunder dome thing they've created at burning man. it gives me hope that no matter how strange and discordant i am, i may indeed find a tribe that i fit in. this is especially encouraging to me as a gay man in recovery. it doesn't always seem like a great fit for me in my community.

there is a series of these clips about the death guild and i encourage flipping through them. they are fascinating to me and as i mentioned, fill me with hope.
i am in tune with the concept of alternative. it has vibrated with me since i understood its meaning. that remains true today.

Beyond Burning Man - Season 1 - Episode 1: The Beginning

Posted Aug 14, 2007

A city rises in the middle of the Nevada desert each year and over 40,000 people are called to participate, creating themed camps of every variety. This is the Burning Man Festival at Black Rock City. It is here that we meet the members of Death Guild, veterans of Burning Man and a family who share amongst ravers and free-loving hippies their vision of a post apocalyptic world. From the heavily armored fire breathing vehicles to the nightly battles in The Dome, it is the Death Guild who gives the masses wha

and i couldn't help but include this one. omg- what he does with trousers when he comes across naked people in the desert really makes me laugh out loud. additionally, this is a demonstration of how creative and ingenious this tribe is. i actually wouldn't mind having them on my team if i needed backup.

Beyond Burning Man - Season 1 - Episode 3: Road Warriors

Posted Aug 15, 2007

In keeping with the post-apocalyptic theme of the camp, the Death Guild creates a fleet of vehicles that some might say are "otherworldly". In this episode we are introduced to: "Flipper"- This turbo powered wheel barrel reaches speeds up to 70 mph! It also provides a community service by FIRING PANTS to those who desire to roam around naked from an air pressurized air cannon UP TO 400 FT. AWAY!!! "Arachnid Runner"- Cowboy shows us what to do with that old lawnmower rusting away in the tool shed, by weld