a single man

Well, he says you're light in your loafers. But you're not even wearing any loafers

i've just come from seeing tom ford's "a single man" and WOW is the first thing i can come up with to say. it is so rich and so layered. it was just as lush as a great stilton and some ripe pear after dinner.

i fell in love with the post mccarthy, mid-century perspective that the film used as its launching pad. the cars, the clothes, the stifled sensibility, and of course the lead character's glass house by the beach. the film, (and it really is a film) has some of the most exquisitely shot scenes of any i have seen recently. there is a vintage feel that is reminiscent of bruce weber technique and created a sense of desire and curiosity that found me wanting to know more about the characters.

the story opens with the accidental death of a man whose body is visited at the scene of the car crash by the thoughts of his male lover of 16 years. the still living man's envisions himself kissing the body in an attempt to find acceptance or wake his now sleeping beauty partner from his slumber.

this sets the stage for the next hour and a half for the main character to walk through his early 1960's life as if in a dream or like a somnambulist. it becomes apparent after spending a short day with him that he is not just taking up space, but he has a plan and is methodically taking steps to fulfill his next dream.

some of the vintage beliefs that surround a taboo homosexual lifestyle are whispered thoughout the film. the funeral for the lover that is for family only. the neighbor child dropping the term "light in the loafers" at the bank, and our hero's best friend talking about a "real" relationship all add a certain depth to the storyline. one might even think that writer/director tom ford may have put this christopher isherwood adaptation forward to
speak directly to the gay marriage public drama. it can only be viewed as poison that a person dares not publicly grieve their loved one of 16 years. not even with their neighbors and co-workers.

none-the-less, the performances are as reserved as the morals of the time. this was pre-stonewall and pre-flower power as well. the era of excess had not quite begun, and this is completely reflected in the acting. colin firth masters his character that is metaphorically holding it all in to prevent from falling apart. and julianne moore is stellar as a jacqueline suzanne type that is his oldest and dearest friend. but the impeccable mid-century set design and car collections carry their own weight in this imaginative and remarkable first film.

today's sound choice is from the film. here is booker t and the mg's with "green onions". there's a great scene in the film where the lead is dancing with his best friend and this song comes on. it definitely creates a flavor.

blue hearts

 

one day, it will be commonplace for a young gay boy or girl to dream of growing up, falling in love, and having choices about their future. they might see themselves in a relationship with another and spending their lives together, or they might see themselves as being completely independent, loving their work, and delving into the arts, sports, or philanthropy to spend their lives. their partners may end up being their best friends, or someone they rarely speak with. but they won't have to grow up feeling shame for who they are or what desires they have. throughout history, there are tales of unrequited love, unrecognized relationships, star-crossed lovers. much of that remains in place today. until that day, we hold this dream close to our hearts.

                                               or at least i do.

I love you
For the part of me

That you bring out;

I love you

For putting your hand

Into my heaped-up heart

And passing over

All the foolish, weak things

That you can't help

Dimly seeing there,

And for drawing out

Into the light

All the beautiful belongings

That no one else had looked

Quite far enough to find.


I love you because you

Are helping me to make

Of the lumber of my life

Not a tavern

But a temple;

Out of the works

Of my every day

Not a reproach

But a song.


I love you

Because you have done

More than any creed

Could have done

To make me good,

And more than any fate

Could have done

To make me happy.

You have done it

Without a touch,

Without a word,

Without a sign.

You have done it

By being yourself.

Perhaps that is what

Being a friend means,

After all.

Roy Croft

(1907-1973)  this poem extracted from wedding vows at enotalone

today's sound choice is vintage 1970's disco from alec constadinos. here is romeo and juliet (part 1)



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weather storm

“On one level, our suffering is caused by bigotry and dogmatism and all these things, but ultimately we suffer because we don't understand how limitless we are. You could say that we live in a fantasy, that what we call reality is actually a dream.”—Pema Chödrön

PORTLAND, Maine — Voters in the northeastern state of Maine repealed a state law that would have allowed same-sex couples to wed, dealing the gay rights movement a heartbreaking defeat in the corner of the country most supportive of gay marriage.
Gay marriage has now lost in every single state — 31 in all — in which it has been put to a popular vote. Gay-rights activists had hoped to buck that trend in Maine — known for its moderate, independent-minded electorate — and mounted an energetic, well-financed campaign.

With 87 percent of the precincts reporting, gay-marriage foes had 53 percent of the votes.

"The institution of marriage has been preserved in Maine and across the nation," declared Frank Schubert, chief organizer for the winning side.
Gay-marriage supporters conceded early Wednesday.

"We're in this for the long haul," said Jesse Connolly, manager of the pro-gay marriage campaign. "For next week, and next month, and next year — until all Maine families are treated equally. Because in the end, this has always been about love and family and that will always be something worth fighting for."

At issue was a law passed by the Maine Legislature.
read the rest of the story at new york daily news


today's sound choice is a collaboration. the music is from the genius that is craig armstrong and it's combined with a massive attack cut called after the storm.  these audio tidbits are layered with an audio and visual track that was homemade in bristol in the summer of 2006. i actually love the sound of rain-no- it's not raining where i am today- (outside at least). here is a taste of craig armstrong's "after the storm" you can find this song and others on the "back to mine" compilation by talvin singh.

 




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get this party started

it's an interesting move, this pink christmas thing. part of me abhors the idea of assimilating (although i do it incessantly) and part of me enjoys the rituals of an existing commercial holiday. but moreover, i absolutely love the idea of creating new norms for a culture, that will bring us together. i have felt for a long time that 1 weekend (i.e.pride weekend) is not enough to really establish bonds and connectedness among us. perhaps this is another step in that direction.

starting new traditions, creating positive role models for gay and lesbian youth, offering visible possibilities for their lives other than life in bars, and hopefully festivals that aren't sponsored by liquor companies and big pharma. besides, think of the shopping and tasting possibilities...

A Dutch gay group said Monday it has planned a "Pink Christmas" festival for the first time in Amsterdam, featuring a manger stall with two Josephs and two Marys.

Other attractions in the 10-day festival include parties, an open-air market, gay-themed films, an ice skating rink and religious services on Dec. 25.

ProGay group chairman Frank van Dalen said Monday the event is intended to increase the choices for homosexual men and women during the Christmas holiday week.

"Right now, there's not much to do," he said.

The festival will also encourage people to think about homosexuality and religion, Van Dalen added.

Some Christian groups protested. The organization Christians for Truth said the idea "mocks the core concepts of Evangelism."

"By putting Joseph and Mary down as homosexuals, a cracked human fantasy is being tacked on to history from the Bible," the organization said in a statement urging the city and organizers to cancel the event.

The manger, with actors playing the parts of Joseph and Mary, goes on display Dec. 21.

Van Dalen said it was not intended to be offensive, but was meant as a "wink" at heterosexual assumptions.

"Christmas is about more than religion, it's also about love and families, not to mention shopping," he said. "Two men or two women can form a family too these days, even one with a child."

Gay marriage was legalized in the Netherlands in 2001, and adoption rules are the same here for gay or straight couples.

Van Dalen said the Pink Christmas initiative was also intended to help promote Amsterdam as a gay capital after a decline in its reputation in recent years.

A study last month found that homophobia is an ingrained problem in the city despite the Dutch reputation for tolerance, and physical attacks on gay men are a weekly affair.
by toby sterling for sfgate

today's hopefully apropos sound choice is pink with her 1st hit "get this party started"

forever with pride 2008

yes, it's here... gay pride weekend 2008 in denver is here. i am not necessarily prepared, but i will participate none-the-less. and i'm happy to do so. i cannot say how it will all play out. a friend is back from california for the weekend, but i have a full calendar and many not get to see him. i am working our booth at the festival both days, but thankfully it is only 3 hours per day. pride is traditionally a very very hot hot weekend- temperature wise. last year, i had tried to create a safe sober space for people in recovery to hang, as triggers can be a challenge at such events. i hope someone picks up that gauntlet this year.

everyone makes it out this weekend at some point. and i think it is good for the soul to become part of this pridefest mulligatawny for awhile. it's right-sizing in a way. there are so many of us in so many sizes and flavors. i forget this sometimes.

i have already done a pride post this month, however, gay pride represents something bigger for me than one post. there is much to celebrate locally, but on the national scene there is much more. i am quietly ecstatic that marriage for our culture is moving into the mainstream if only in one state. young gay men and women will now have a partnership ideal to move towards that can expand their ideas of what is possible in this life.

love certainly won't be easier, but the baggage we bring to it will perhaps be lessened. and perhaps this is a leveller of the playing field that queer folks have fought in so fervently since stonewall, and quietly dared to dream for with baited breath while loving secretly in the shadows for centuries.

i'm not prepared to marry today, this weekend, or even this year, but i definitely am happy that there is now 1 less thing gay men and women have to battle in their struggles with self esteem in our culture. life is challenging enough without running into inequality and disdain at so many turns.

now, hopefully, forever may have just been given a deeper, richer, more fortified meaning for our rainbow clan. forever can mean...forever and ever... amen.

good morning america

ready for the next volley!

sssshhhhhh

i struggle with the gay marriage issue in my head because of the assimilation issues. i'm such a liberal at heart, and i wonder why we yearn to be placed in a mold that doesn't seem to work very well for such a large segment of people and is designed for a different population. i completely understand the equal rights overture and the right to love and the need for that right and that love to be recognized.

i stumbled upon this vid and i realize again that i don't know it all and that love, companionship, and relationship need to be defined by the people who are in it. because they understand their particular place in the world better than anyone else.

i'll let the persons in love do their own pigeonholing if i can. leave it up to the interested parties. sometimes, i don't understand a thing, but it really doesn't matter. some things i really don't need to know. i can just watch and listen and i can just believe.