today is officially the day of pride celebrations in denver. and i believe that for gay men in recovery, this day holds quite a bit of anxiety. and to celebrate and participate publicly in pride is like jumping two ropes at once. here is how i plan to ease that tension. the rocky mountain roundup pre-parade meeting is at 8:00 am and the parade starts at 9:30 and travels from cheesman park to civic center park. there, mile high meth project has set up a booth with a game called "knock it off" to act as outreach. we are the first gay men's treatment program in denver that i am aware of. and i am less than humble when i talk about it. but i digress. the game is a pretty simple game really. you just have to knock over 6 stacked plastic cups by throwing a ball. if you knock them all off you win a t-shirt that has our logo and "wanna get off" in huge letters. yesterday was family day at the festival. we had a line 4 deep all day trying to win those shirts. they love that shirt. guess the outreach is working somewhat. hopefully people will remember who we are and what we do. you get a rubber bracelet that says the same thing or a pen if you don't knock them all off. people seem to enjoy themselves. especially the lesbians. and lesbians all know gay men with meth issues.
we also set up a talking wall somewhere else on the festival grounds. it is 24 feet long, covered in white butcher paper and we are posing questions like "why do we use crystal meth" and "what has meth done for you lately", and "is hiv relevant". multi-colored markers are available in buckets hanging from each end of the wall. we went through 3 lengths of paper yesterday. Even the cops and the security guards were talking to the wall.
i have also been announcing at meetings that if anyone is at pride festivities and starts to feel uncomfortable, or squirrely, or out of place, that they can come to either of our venues and chill and have safe harbor. i remember what it is like to try to be around pride activities when i was first getting clean. i had no idea how to feel safe or normal at all.
today, i am going to feel proud that i have tried to take my struggles and turn them toward the folks in my vicinity. this has given my journey some purpose and some value. and i am going to try to laugh and smile the whole day ( we'll see if that actually lasts- it's going to be 100 degrees).
but i am learning that there is always a way for me to get what i need. backtrackin today with frankie smith. c'mon - get on-
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