here is an excerpt from a seattle interview about crystal meth in 2005 with one of my personal heroes: peter staley. i think the content speaks for itself. i find myself slowly moving towards activism in this regard and hope that wherever i eventually land in my movement of beliefs and ideals that i find myself in the company of men and women who actually give a damn. there are wars to be waged, changes to fight for, and healing to nurture. still some days, i cannot believe i have survived all i have to participate in this. so sign me up mr. staley. i think the meth mystique is bullshit. it's built on a concept that there is an easy way to paradise. a quick fix. an easy feel-good with no repercussions. a fast infusion of networking and communication to other gay men and an easy for source of validation. it's none of those things in my eyes. it is merely smoke and mirrors. smoke and mirrors.
So if you could give marching orders to some group of people on this issue, who would you give them to?
Gay men in general, and in particular the guys who are not using meth. I feel strongly that if a person who would never use meth is having brunch on a Sunday with others who have used meth that weekend, and is listening to the meth users share their experience in a joking way—if the listener doesn't say anything, then by his silence he is playing a role in meth's popularity in the community. He's playing a role if he doesn't say, "What the fuck are you talking about? Don't you know that destroyed the lives of some of my friends?"
By his silence he's complicit.
Absolutely, he's complicit. In my mind, this kind of silence is a form of pushing.
So why do so many people remain silent?
The whole basis of our community is very libertarian. The gay liberation movement's primary focus has been fighting against those who are trying to tell us how to live our lives, so we're very reluctant to tell each other how to live our lives. And rightly so. I have a strong libertarian streak. But I hope our community only takes that so far.
For example, if we had been completely libertarian during the height of the AIDS crisis in the '80s, there would have been no pressure from some gay men on other gay men that condoms be used all the time. That was our greatest hour as a community—when we started helping each other, as well as pressuring each other, and started expecting that we take care of our own. Now, here we are again, faced with a situation where the health of many gay men is under serious threat. We need to start helping and pressuring each other again.
the only difference i see in this course of action is perhaps tactical. i am not sure that pressuring is a solution. it may have worked when fear was so predominate, but change doesn't typically stick when it's coerced. if we as a culture start moving towards a deeper happiness then social norms will change. and when we adopt the helping each other philosophy truly and not as a means to manipulate then we can evolve.
oh, yes i do think that brother michael coulda stopped making changes a long time ago, but it ain't my journey. i've lived my own hell, so i try not to emphasize anyone else's. besides, he can rock da house.....
5 comments:
I think, however, it is essential we don't pretend that there aren't initial and intense gratifications to the use of crystal. We cannot afford to have the message of the horrific longterm consequences of its use ignored because users who are still nominally recreational feel we are denying their experience. We risk reinforcing their perception "because that's the way it turned out for YOU doesn't mean that's the way it'll be for me." We NEED to acknowledge that we loved it for a time too, that we thought we could "stay recreational" too, that is did start out as "Fun" - but explain that's just dopamine. I think we need to acknowledge yes, three day binges in the early stages can lead to multiple and intense sexual experiences, but then add: "SO WHAT?" That we in recovery know from personal experience that all that immediate sexual gratification doesn't give you any real sense of intimacy--which is what as human beings we really want. We need to shine a light on the truth that gratification does NOT equal happiness.
It's like trying to tell kids junk food and donuts will turn you into obese diabetic without acknowledging that sugar tastes good. We need to think of messages WE might have listened to during our first year of crystal use. Unfortunately I can't think of much that would have swayed me. I had arrests, deaths--it's INSANE that I kept using.
I think there IS a meth mystique--but that's the point: a MYSTIQUE is ephermeral, unreal, temporary. It's as real as donuts are nutritious.
Ya, I'd have to agree. Pressuring just doesn't work for those who are into it. When I was doing meth, if someone started at me about it, I'd drop them as a friend.
I'd not even date a guy if he was against drug use, and that was before crystal meth entered my life.
The answer to pressure I think is isolation which is exactly what I did as I continued to use. And I do not think that an uncommon experience amongst all forms of addiction. It is not as if the horrors of heroin addiction are not well publicized yet people continue to experiment and especially in the case of opiates, people continue to invest in the experience and have to face ultimately either a tortuous recovery or death. This tells me that if the information about drug use is ONLY about the damage it can wreak on one's life and the information about the initial positive experience is left out of the equation, people are going to investigate anyway thinking, and rightly so, that if all these other people are finding something in drug use that fills a need, no matter how short term that relief might be. In other words, it is about presenting a complete picture so fully informed decisions can be made.
It's no secret to those of us on the other side that our addiction was not the easy way at all. But I for one never really understood that until I emerged by the grace of whatever powers that be on the other side.
The health crisis is good model as it was not just activism that brought about change. It was addressing the issue on ALL fronts at the same time.
Good post Warrior Scout! Very, very thought provoking which is essential in all things—I think.
None of my gay friends are into meth, but I wouldn't dream of telling them off if they were.
Where am I supposed to draw the line? Do you expect me to criticize my gay friends who aren't in a same-sex marriage like me? Or maybe I should tell my uneducated gay friends that they ought to go to law school like me. Or maybe I should criticize my gay friends who are over 30 (and 40) yet continue to work crappy retail jobs with no pension benefits. Or tell off my HIV positive gay friends for being such sluts.
I can see that if I were the kind of busy-body that you'd like me to be, I'd have no friends at all. I think I have so many gay friends, because I avoid judging them. I'm glad that the gay community includes more than just prissy rich yuppie professionals like me. It's not my place to try to create more clones of myself and make everyone act like me.
-Jonathan in France
i am totally of the belief that if we engage each other in sincere dialogue about our core issues, the peripheral issues of drug use, health concerns, and personal lifestyle choices will be secondary.
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