cave of angels

Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.--Anonymous

as i had hoped, i am finding this journey with the "back to mine" cd's a festival of sound and wonder. with each cd, i have added some new ideas to my vault and have extended my understanding of music a little. for me, music has always been more than just a distraction. it has provided both comfort and nourishment, and has been a lighthouse during my lost years as well as the years that i have moved closer to light.

talvin singh's complilation is certainly an exotic meal for me. his selections have a definite "world music" quality that surpass the others i have visited thus far. i find the stretching that is required to percolate and infuse these sounds may be opening doorways in my heart and mind. and i am definitely on board with the continuance of growth.

so maybe with today's post, i affirm that i willingly travel to the "cave of angels" to deepen my awareness of the rewards of remaining respectful of the miracles that occur around me and through me. on some level, i know this to be true.

i got an invitation on fb to join a boycott of maine and maine lobster. as i read this, my stomach turned. this is not the response i would like to put forward. i remember back in the early 90's when amendment 2 passed in colorado. the rest of the country and the lgbt community started the boycott colorado campain. i didn't get on board with that either. i remember feeling abandoned by my community. i thought: here we are fighting the fight, and my compadres are leaving us in the dust to absorb the losses. and i remember thinking then that a better response to the passage of amendment 2 might be to build a national lgbt museum in colorado springs because obviously citizens don't know enough of us personally or they couldn't vote in good conscience the way that they did.

i haven't fashioned an appropriate response in my mind for the time being other than yesterday's post. but i do know that i don't feel a boycott of the economy of a state where 48 percent of the voters validated our agenda seems well thought out or a healthy direction..

i got to listen to a friend explain to someone some serious elements of their current health status yesterday. the listener has been homeless for about 10 years, and has been involved in some pretty serious "runnin and gunnin" with alcohol and crack for those years. a definitive reaction of the listener could not be seen or heard. there seemed to be a silence and lack of reaction more than anything else. i wonder if it has been so long that this person has actually been soberly present in their life, that they may not remember how to react spontaneously. or if they are just cautious and need to process quietly. none-the-less, it was a little like watching a silent film, the picture was there and told a story, but what wasn't said had it's own storyline. there are many times i am unable to fix anything or make it better. the most i can do is be present and be a witness.


today's sound choice is dreadzone with "cave of angels". this comes from the talvin singh "back to mine" cd. love it.






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dance hall days

every once in awhile, i do a post with this title. dance hall days were incredible. they were the celebration before our collective ship hit that iceberg. 1980-1983. that's when our titanic sliced her belly, started to submerge, and the evacuations began. that's when it all changed. that's when we saw the panic, the lifeboats, the heroism, the cowardice, and all the rest of the tales of mice and men. that's when history moved. i do remember the joy. i remember the colors. i remember the joie de vivre. i remember the laughter.

so i go back to those days now and again, because i loved so much of my life then. and because i need to remember. i took them for granted. i thought those glory days would last forever. and i know since i have foolishly done many unattractive things to try to keep those days alive. but they drifted into the mists like avalon with so many lost in the undertow along with them. and i now know that there is a morning after.

this sounds so somber and it's not my intention. i do hold sadness when i remember these days. but i hold joy along with it. my laugh was lighter then. my stride was gayer, and my heart was much more open.

so i arrived at melancholy place because i was surfing youtube and i came across this vid. omg- sharon redd performed at medusa's in 1983 or 84(can't exactly remember). she was talented. she had been a backup singer for bette midler and had then gone out on her own. she had a few hits. i had a blast with her when she performed with us. i do remember a little drama at the end of the "evening" which i think was actually 8 or 9 am. we did trip the light fantastic back then. i witnessed drug induced paranoia which i had never seen before, but would experience first and second hand in the years to come.

sharon left our world in 1992, i believe. it was aids-related. she earned her place at my table of memories. she was a warrior, just like so many i know. and she left our world a better place with the gifts she shared with us.

i encourage you to look at some of the other clips offered on the menu bar of this vid. "beat the street" was a sound i remember really loving at the time. but i chose this one for it's absolutely quintessential 80's flavor.

i wouldn't trade those days. can't anyway, but wouldn't if i could. i am so thankful i lived in and remember my dance hall days.

short and sweet

there are only four lines to this song. a simple three questions, but so much is said. now, please don't think i am depressed. i am not. i am remembering.
i need to reflect on this. my loved ones and my many lost deserve it. my sanity demands i remember.
people still isolate. people still quietly live in fear. and not just "those people over there", but here at home in our cities, too. what steps can i take today to change that? how can i make life better for someone today? talk about it. acknowledge hiv. empathize. be a friend. listen. learn and teach love. care.

Will I lose my dignity
will someone care
will i wake tomorrow
from this nightmare