every now and again i visit ed negron's blog "the work-in" and always i find inspiration. here is the gem he had laid out for me yesterday..gratefully, i am reminded that change requires work and that the work is its own reward. thanks, ed...
Today's Gift
Ask and it shall be given to you. Seek and ye shall find. Knock and the door shall be opened. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks, it shall be opened.
Throughout spiritual traditions, human beings are depicted as the children of a loving Creator who has offered us a kingdom. Repeatedly we hear that abundance, joy, and prosperity are at hand right now. Yet, though the harvest is here, "the laborers are few." Why is this so?
In spiritual life there exists a law called the law of demand and supply. Before substance can manifest itself, a need must be expressed. For example, if I desire to buy a home, this "demand" creates a force of attraction that will draw my home to me. The request comes first, the demonstration, second. If you do not ask, you will not receive.
Many factors limit what we are willing to ask for. We tell ourselves, "I don't deserve it; I'm not good enough." "How can I succeed when others have failed before me?" "Why should I have when others do not?"
In order to harvest the fields of plenty, we must plow up and discard these weeds of unworthiness, doubt, and guilt. Such self-imposed beliefs block the good that is our rightful gift. Affirm your own worthiness to partake of life's bountiful harvest. Then go forth to claim your Divine inheritance.
"Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it.".... Buddha
i made more revenue in 2009 than i had realized. surely it was all the jobs i had. it's easy to remember how busy i have been, because that is something i aim for. but less obvious is the money that comes along with that. firstly, probably because i like to spend as quickly as i earn, but i think also it is due to the fact that i don't live for earning money. it's part of the process. i live to work and the work brings money.
this may seem contrary to many peoples perspectives on work and money. i say that is fine with me. i do live to work at this stage in my life. there were so many years that i dreaded going to work, looked for ways to get outa work, and felt that the work i did was vapid and draining that i can't allow myself to return to that mindset. additionally, there were times i couldn't find a vocation that i felt connected to me as much as i felt connected to it. ( i'm sure the lithium helps here, btw).
but i am immersed in activity that allows me to connect with people , help create and promote change and growth, and share my experience, strength, and hope while working with others. it's true that i feel blessed and strive to remember that every day.
i have received two of my irs documents for tax year 2009 and i am reminded of prosperity and abundance. there is a stipend to pay for that privilege and preparing my mind for taxes is a part of that process. i am familiar with so many individuals who live on disability and/or social security and may not reflect my views on abundance. i acknowledge that separation. and i find gratitude for the ability to pay them.
I don't need to look much further than my own experience to find inspiration to continue each day. not so long ago, i was struggling with finding reasons to keep going at all, and this in the midst of living in a magical city, earning a lot of dollars, and being surrounded with friendships. but my soul was arid and my brain was out of balance. i woke most days with a cloudy head and a tattered heart. each day i wake now, when the former is not the case, is much of the blessing for me. and a good place to begin exploring my day.
today's sound choice is really for my friend sheria.. she said she loved this particular version of this song. i have to say i agree with her. here is bruce springsteen with "we shall overcome" from "hope for haiti now".
it is short, but very very sweet
“I prefer winter and fall, when you feel the bone structure of the landscape - the loneliness of it, the dead feeling of winter. Something waits beneath it, the whole story doesn't show.” .... Andrew Wyeth
man, is it cold here! my bathroom sink pipe has frozen again. i am hoping it's only another small item and it will thaw sometime today with no problems (and no huge mess). i got home last night about six- my moonlight job had been cancelled for the evening due to the weather. i piddled around the house for about an hour, watched an episode of :"income property" that i had recorded and fell asleep by 8pm. this was a total luxury for me, but sadly i forgot to let the water drip from that faucet.
we had the 2nd of 13 journaling group sessions. 2 more people joined and 1 didn't make it. there was a bit more chaos as they were provided with magazines to cut up and construction paper to do oragami or write on. all this to engage the right brain and unlodge some creative blocks. and the journaling piece (a cornerstone of the group) has remained in tact.
my office is having our client holiday party this friday. i am only making hot cider.that is definitely a blessing time wise. i am looking forward to it, for sure. at the end of the party, i have a meeting with a residential treatment program near our campus that has recently had personnel shifts. the previous management team has been gracious enough to support several of our clients in need of a landing pad.
note to santa: dear santa- can you please leave us a ryan white supported residential drug treatment program for our state? honestly we've been good all year, done all our chores, and behaved as we were asked.
our office party is the following saturday night at a restaurant. i am also looking forward to that. i love this restaurant and haven't eaten there since last year. and i have never actually sat down with the entire staff- minus 2- for a meal, although it did come close at a baby shower brunch last summer. the myriad of personalities and backgrounds is actually fascinating. and despite all the drama, (and there has been drama) i have had one of the greatest experiences of my life.
i picked up parties on xmas eve and nye this year. the new sofa needs to be paid and every little bit will help. besides the hostess asks me every year to work and i have turned her down the last couple of years. i like her, although i think many of my colleagues find her difficult. i guess i relate on some level because many of my contemporaries find me challenging too. she was injured a few years back and has challenges doing ordinary things and has some constant pain as well. i guess i understand her focus, her determination, and her never-mentioned struggle.
i am spending christmas day in idaho springs with a few relatives. each year, we take a drive around the neighboring towns and rate the worst holiday decorations and lights. it's always a night time excursion and we always have fun and find a surprise or two. the winner is never the same, and we definitely have fun making up stories about what was going on in peoples' lives and heads when the sprucing of their homes took place.
some friends from la are scheduled to be in that weekend and will be at a cousin's home, but am double booked that day. we'll see about that one.
today's sound choice is a complete departure from this post. but a friend posted it on fb and i can't get it outta my head. i remember this song. i remember the after parties, i remember the sentiment and the posturing that accompanied this time in my life. i would never go back, but i have made a pact to not regret either. and i don't. even though linda's lyric and rappin' are jaded, they represent a naivete i had at this time. in 1978 or 79 i was 21 years old. i had so little experience to be relating to "i ain't got no hearteache to spare." but i did anyway... here is a 12" promo release of linda clifford with "runaway love" i hope you have fun with it.
Martin Luther King, jr.: If you lose hope, somehow you lose the vitality that keeps life moving, you lose that courage to be, that quality that helps you go on in spite of it all. And so today I still have a dream.
quite a powerful set of speeches were unleashed last night in the pepsi center in denver. words and thoughts and praise and prose ribboned their way into america's ears and minds with the swiftness and specificity of a flood plain being refilled.
perhaps i'm a liberal. perhaps i'm jaded. but good ole bill can toss a speech in the ways that few in his political ballpark can muster. as he stated- america must remain "a place called hope". it may be far from perfect, but this place is still home for me.
no doubt, the speech we are all really waiting for will happen tonight. it's a huge deal for so many among us. but i also know that the real work is only beginning. we have lots of work to do in this country. so many things are in the toilet. there is a lot of clean-up ahead of us. there is a whole lotta work to do.
i got a call yesterday that informed me that i did get a part time counseling position doing dui groups. the extra income will be fantastic and the opportunity to keep my counseling skills fresh too. it was really good news.
“The beginning of atonement is the sense of its necessity.” Lord Byron
whatever happened to "there's nothing to forgive because there is no such thing as sin?"
each day i blog, i believe i am working on transgression. for me, this daily journaling and writing hopefully brings me closer to forgiveness and closer to being connected with the world around me in a new way.
i journal, i blog, i write, partly because i seek absolution. i know on a very real level, this is completely a moot point. this would be easily confirmed by the lessons i learn in a course in miracles. yet it is important that i work diligently in this direction. the more clearly i see and share my truth, the more my heart opens. this is at once challenging and very rewarding. my heart is opening, my world expands, and all the while my vision of the world grows along with this.
from wikipedia: The atonement is a doctrine found within both Christianity and Judaism. It describes how sin can be forgiven by God. In Judaism, Atonement is said to be the process of forgiving or pardoning a transgression. This was originally accomplished through rituals performed by a High Priest on the holiest day of the Jewish year: Yom Kippur (Day of Atonement). In Christian theology the atonement refers to the forgiving or pardoning of sin through the death by crucifixion of Jesus Christ which made possible the reconciliation between God and creation.
Atonement is Inevitable
Free will does not mean We can remain forever separated From our Creator.
We can indeed Choose to believe In the illusion Of separation,
And play in the fields Of duality.
Eventually, however the Suffering the world Of opposites engenders Becomes intolerable And we seek a better way.
That way leads to Atonement And reunion with our Creator The Oneness That we are.
